Cancer vs. terrible penis ache

Penis ache is disastrous

Erschütternde Neuigkeiten in unserer Mailbox:

**Ref Number/9834520012.**
My names are Janet Brown,i was diagnosed for cancer for about few weeks ago. I have been touched by God to donate to you,from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God/needy/charity, I decided to WILL/donate the sum of USD$10Million to you. Contact my Physican Dr Steve Astyl with this, specified email; { drsatevya@aol.com },Tel; +44 70457 87160 ,for the funds release,my personal ref number law/WILL/9834520012. I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don’t want anything that will jeopardize my last wish. Regards,
Mrs Janet Brown
(03rd November 20009-.)

Umgehende Antwort ist in solchen Fällen Ehrensache:

Dear, dear Janet,

I’m so moved by your deep words. What affects me the most actually, is the fact that this is my first undisired advertising mail written by someone pretending to have cancer. I’m very, very sorry, Janet but I can’t be responsive to your please. Regrettably I have a terrible penis-ache for months allready, which claims my complete attention. I realy don’t have time or energy to receive your dear gift. I would very, very dearly have spoken to you in person comfort you in a dear and friendly way. Unfortunately when calling your number (+44 70457 87160) I didn’t attend your gentle voice but only machine like sounds going “tut” or “tuht”.
I promise, when my penis stops aching, I will instantly accept your awesome offerin.
till then please answer my most urgent question: does cancer hurt?
Oh yes? – but it doesn’t make you wet your pants?
But alas, I wear diapers myself.
Much power,
Gabor